Transient

Born into a world filled with sin.
Born into a world that serves the jinn.

Feeling like a stranger here, as if I don't belong.
It will get better I tell myself, hold on, be strong.

Restless and weary walking seemingly alone.
Hopes, dreams and purpose all but gone.

Desperately needing something real and true.
Knowing in my soul that not just anything will do.

Feeling lost and as lowly as dirt.
Bound in shackles, wounded and hurt.

No refuge, no home, no one who cares.
Only emptiness, hunger and uninterested stares.

Hidden in darkness, it's void my shroud.
Living with a quiet that is so deafeningly loud.

...And then Jesus came into that life.

Born again into a world exciting and new.
Born again into a world where I give God His due.

Jesus saved me and now I'm free.
His faithfulness and mercy every day I see.

In Him I have found a resting place.
The unconditional love of Christ so full of grace.

Blessed with a light I can not hide,
no longer hidden in darkness but in His word I abide.

Famished no more He made sure I was fed.
To Him and His church I am blissfully wed.

All that the enemy stole from me has been returned and more.
And I am patiently waiting for all the Master has in store.

No longer a wanderer in this insidious land,
but I walk with Jesus and on a rock I stand.

The promise of heaven is the ultimate perk,
if I follow Jesus and do His work.

I've come to realize that what I was feeling was true.
I am a transient here...just passing through.

Mountain Of Why

Why in times of sadness, despair and pain do I think of you with me on shores my feet have never touched and places my head has never lain?

Why is it when I look in my mirror I see you? Why do I know when you look in yours you see me too?

Why is that not all the mirror reflects? It reveals we see in each other what others neglect.

Why is my life so similar to yours and yours to mine? Why does your opinion mean more to me than I can comprehend, explain or define?

Why with one kind word do you have the knack to fill the void of the many things my life lacks?

Why is it that with just one thought of you, should I feel like a beautiful spring morning with a layer of fresh dew?

Why is it when it comes to you I'm so conflicted? Like trying to walk through a gate clearly marked restricted.

Why between us is there such understanding, acceptance and heat when in my lifetime this hasn't been an ordinary feat?

Why are jokes between us so funny and remain so for days? Why can I see the real you and feel nothing less than amazed?

Why with them are differences nearly impossible to mend, when we have in each other someone we can always call friend?

Why are we who are as simple as a field of daisies, predetermined to attracting people who are self-absorbed, over complicated and crazy?

Why is it that out of all the people in the world, you're most like me except you're not a girl?

Why is it that as sure as I am a girl and you are a guy, will there always be a mountain of why?

Fair I See

Watch your toes! I thought about this one for a while. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I thought about how it may offend some but encourage others and I came to the conclusion that if I can encourage someone along life’s highway, isn’t that one of the things our Father sent us all to do. If you are offended I apologize and ask for your forgiveness but I implore you to examine why.
How fair do you see? It is a question we should all ask ourselves. It seems that it is much easier to find fault in others than it is to find it within ourselves. We are so quick to judge and appoint blame. We rationalize our sins. Had it not been for this I would not have done that. Sin is not an effect it is a choice. However our neighbor is judged by a different standard than ourselves. I heard this saying that wisdom is having a whole lot to say but not saying it. Proverbs 29:11 says: “A fool vents all his feelings but a wise man holds them back.” Matthew 7:1-2 says this: “Judge not that you may not be judged. For with that judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will measured back to you.” Jesus is simply saying this. Whatever method you use to judge then that is the method that will be used to judge you. Jesus said in Matthew 7:3-5: “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me remove the speck from your eye; and look a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” How foolish is it for us to say “I did this or that but my neighbor’s sin is greater than mine!” Or worse yet hide your sin and sit on high posts judging the sins of others. Not only do you not see fairly, it makes you a Pharisee. We’ve all dealt with Pharisees. They are on our jobs, in our churches and even in our homes. Pharisees were typically self-righteous and legalistic, flaunting their own "good works" before others to make themselves appear superior. Jesus referred to them many times as hypocrites. One of one Jesus’ most powerful dealings with a Pharisee is in Luke 7:36-50. While being anointed by the woman with the alabaster box, this was posed to Simon “Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people—500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.” “That’s right,” Jesus said. I’m saying this to say, if you are giving God your very best and I do mean your absolute best, it matters not at all what others say. He knows! No one can judge you but Him! There are planks in the eyes of men! They judge you by their limited sight but God sees all. Good and bad. We can’t hide from him! In John 8:1-7 deals with the woman caught in the act of adultery. In an attempt to have cause to accuse Jesus the Pharisees tempted Him citing the Law of Moses stating women caught in adultery should be stoned to death. “So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” One by one they left for no one is without sin. Acts 3:19 says “Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” The definition of repent is: to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life. Repentance and faith in the blood of Jesus Christ result in total forgiveness and remission of sin.
So will you continue to say to yourself “fair I see” or will you remain a Pharisee?

In Love With Love

I was just thinking about something that some of us think a lot about and others not enough. Brace yourselves, I may be a minute. Did you know there are several forms of love? Even if we don't know the proper names for them most of us can only account for two. The love between a man and a woman and the love between a mother/father and child. A family love.
Eros is the first form of love that the average person thinks of and it's simply a passion driven physical and emotional love founded upon aesthetic enjoyment. It is the stereotype of romantic love. It's the love between man and woman. It's the topic of a many song, a many book and a many motion picture. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones commonly known as chick flicks. This is the one that society insinuates we should long for and let's face it a many of us do. Who wouldn't want to share in a love where there is passion. Physical and emotional. Love that is enjoyable to both parties. Love that puts butterflies in the tummy and a Porsche in the heart. The most talented writer and director can spin you a tale that will make you believe in that. A tale. The tale that love is easy. That if two people love each other they may have a mishap or two but everything will work out perfectly for them. But we fail to realize that the telling of that tale is made up of a series of retakes, bloopers, sweat and hard work. Hardly easy and definitely not perfect.
Ludus is the love that is played as a game or sport. A conquest. Meaning it's just a series of challenges won. The Taming Of The Shrew comes to mind. This love seeks to bend another to it's will. A game of who will win. If you're thinking as I am, you're asking yourself how this can be considered as love. Well in our world it isn't but trust me when I say there are others that can totally relate and this is their perfect love. I personally can't relate but I see it in a many relationship. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones where you can't for the life of you figure out why that woman is with that man when mostly everything he does is meant to break her like a wild horse. Maybe it's the woman doing the breaking. I'm not trying to be chauvinistic. These relationships are often abusive. Emotional and sometimes physical. This love lacks respect. The thrill is in the game.
Storge is the love that is affectionate and slowly develops from friendship and is based on similarity. We know this story also. The story where friends become lovers. The story where good friends in search of Eros love realize what they were looking for was right there all the while. They discover commonalities between themselves and realize that together...they just make sense. They know each other. They tend to have seen the good, the bad and the ugly before their romantic relationship developed.
Pragma is the love that is driven by the head not the heart. It's the love that's undemonstrative. The head knows that it would be practical to love this person. It knows that someone else would think that what he/she has is not too bad by most standards. There only one problem. The heart hasn't caught up with the head. This love finds it hard to show love because it isn't heart felt. Where Eros is passionate Pragma is the opposite. It is devoid of such things. It goes through the motions.
Mania is the love that is highly volatile. It's obsessive and energized by low self-esteem. This is the deadly love. The love that kills maims and destroys. The love that is often tragically featured on the news. The love to be avoided, not embraced.
Agape is the selfless altruistic love. It's the motherly love. The spiritual love. It's the love that a mother or father has for their child. It's the love God has for us and by far the most valuable. Not valuable in a monetary sense but in a sense that it's unconditional. 1 Corinthians 4-8 says "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." Imagine if you can for a second being the recipient of that kind of love. No judgement. It's yours and you don't even deserve it. Freely given. God loves us like that. It's the only perfect love. It's the love He wants us to have for each other.
Anyone reading this can relate to one or more of these forms of love. Hopefully you don't fall into the negative categories. I've said all this to say this. Most of us long for love. You may yearn for that motherly/fatherly love. I'm here to tell you to yearn no more. God loves you. Even if you feel as if not another soul in this world does. He loves you through your imperfections, sin and shortcomings.
You may yearn for the kind we read in the romance novels and see in the movies. It's wonderful the notion that two people are so much in love that it catapults them past peril and disappointment in a couple of chapters or a couple of scenes. But the truth is love is much more than that. It takes work to maintain. No one is the same way everyday. There will be bad moods, mistakes, missteps, anger and angry words. I'm not downing love. Nor am I saying that it's impossible or unreal. Hey I read the books and see the movies too and I love the idea that two people can love each other that much that there is always a happy ending and I love all the romanticism along the way. Just be sure you're not just in love with love.

Worthless Check

I was just thinking about the times in my life I've felt like a worthless check. Written with sincerity and at face value only to return stamped "insufficient funds." Perhaps you can relate, perhaps not. If so here are some words of encouragement. It's odd because through it all you feel like yourself. Everything that you were yesterday you still are today. To you. In retrospect that fundamentally says it all. To you. In being true to yourself you found self worth, self respect and a love for yourself. You recognized something that was not only valuable to you but more so to others. Worth. Honest to God and man worth. Now there are exceptions to every rule. If people constantly told you that you walked like a duck and quacked like a duck you would have to ascertain that you were a duck. Or another way of putting that is how my grandmother would have said it, "everybody ain't lying." In those case you'll have to do a self diagnostic to find where the problem lies because there is a good probability that it lies within you. There will be the other times. The times when the people you know, the people you love and the people you respect will fail to see your worth or your worth is insufficient by their standards. Your differences depreciate your value. I've come to believe that for the most part, it's not done maliciously. Everyone has a basic need to be understood. Most feel that the people who are most like them will understand them better than those who are not. Those that are the closest to them are targeted first for assimilation. Sadly not much thought is given to your thoughts or feelings. It is because of your attachment to them whatever it may be that it is assumed that you will just...conform. This is not a twelve step program on what to do about that. Just a simple three things to remember. Know it when you see it. Love yourself as God loves you. Know with every fiber of your being that you could NEVER be a worthless check. Jesus paid it all to assure that.

Born From Pain

I was just thinking, pain is as much a part of living as breathing. It is true that we as a people respond to pain in different ways. Some of us can take our pain and use it in useful and positive ways. We can use it as a form of expression. When looked upon by others it may seem clever or easy but expressing pain in a positive manner costs. To fully express it, you open your heart and display your soul for possible ridicule...more hurt. I'm reminded of Dr. Maya Angelou's life. Who knew what the sum of being raped at age eight and being mute for six years of would produce? Others take the opposite approach. Their pain breeds more pain. Instead of expressing it they choose infect others. We've all heard the adage "misery loves company." They feel as if, if someone else is experiencing pain they aren't alone in theirs. There are primarily two forms of pain. Physical and emotional. Physical pain can be dealt with on one of two levels. Tolerate it or find a modern medical marvel that will either alleviate or cease it. As I think about physical pain, I'm reminded of Genesis 3:16 which reads... "Unto the woman He said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children;..." as a mother I have known no greater physical pain than child birth. The average mother will agree with that statement but with that pain there is nothing more precious than the face of her new born child. Only women more specifically mothers can relate to this so I'll move on. Most everyone has experienced heartache in some aspect. Maybe it was the loss of a loved one or the death of a relationship. Perhaps someone introduced you to pain either by commission or omission or or in other words something they did or did not do. Purposely or not. The thing is that in this life there will be pain. It is as necessary as darkness. I'm saying this to say that without darkness we would be unable to appreciate the light. Without pain we would not be able to fully perceive good times. It's not the pain that defines us but what we do with it. How we overcome it. As I think further, I think of how sad it is that some people can only appreciate God in times of sadness and despair. Even sadder that some can't appreciate Him even then. I'm here to tell you that everyone experiences pain at some point in their lives, don't feel alone in that. I'm also here to tell you that some of the most beautiful things were born from pain.

The Ghost In The Machine

I was just thinking. Have you ever felt disconnected from the rest of the world? Felt like no one understood you so you were discounted as being a part of the human race? You feel invisible. You strive to find a single person that can understand your complexity or your simplicity to no avail. So you're left feeling abnormal, a pariah and in essence a ghost in the machine. Again this is me understanding. I'm among the complex of you. My analytical skills, logic and even my speech to the average person is atypical. To them I'm either thrusting unwanted and unintelligible wit at them or just being difficult. I've often found that defense of myself only leads to further complications. I can also empathize with the simple of you. Not meant to be taken in the derogatory sense but just those of you who aren't at all complex. I can see where the average person can misunderstand you also. We as people tend to be unbelieving of things that are too good to be true. If you're just that easy to figure out then something else must be wrong with you. The need to add more to you is almost irresistible. Aside from the feelings of ostracism and abject loneliness, you question your own propensity in dealing with others. Is this something you unconsciously do to ward off the natives? Are you really everything they say you are or aren't? Well only you can answer those questions. The only thing I can tell you that in my experiences I found that when I remain true to myself, I'm happier. Along the way I've found people who may not completely understand me but they respect who I am. I also have found people who don't understand me and I repel them like opposing magnets. That's the beauty of interpersonal relationships, we aren't the same. We weren't meant to be. In accepting that we're allowed to be ourselves and embrace our differences. I suspect that one day you will come across a person or persons of your kind. Who understands you more so than anyone ever has. It is my hope that one day you will look up and find someone looking at YOU and loving every bit of you. Someone that awes you in their similarities to yourself. In that you will no longer be the ghost in the machine.